I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize