we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
