I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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