Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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