he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My life is pants optional.
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