can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
