remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Send help, water and tortillas.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
