omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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