false alarm. still invincible.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
