I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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