do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
