he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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