I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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