do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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