that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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