we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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