I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
