So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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