Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?

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  (312): How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick? http://tfl.nu/oq47
  Replies (6) Good night (578) Bad night (1581)
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  (631): View more from New York

  There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12

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  (631): There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12 http://tfl.nu/d4y2
  Replies (27) Good night (5111) Bad night (1486)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future

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  (330): He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future http://tfl.nu/ji9u
  Replies (8) Good night (773) Bad night (3599)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding

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  (603): When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding http://tfl.nu/lhu6
  Replies (7) Good night (1596) Bad night (2451)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  how do you feel about lunch break shots ?

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  (204): how do you feel about lunch break shots ? http://tfl.nu/05qu
  Replies (8) Good night (3144) Bad night (912)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.

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  (360): All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower. http://tfl.nu/z2xv
  Replies (15) Good night (1468) Bad night (838)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now

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  (423): So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now http://tfl.nu/44f0
  Replies (13) Good night (448) Bad night (1084)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.

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  (602): Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side. http://tfl.nu/uoi7
  Replies (2) Good night (842) Bad night (682)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.

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  (770): He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican. http://tfl.nu/lruh
  Replies (21) Good night (1101) Bad night (485)
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  (737): View more from Texas

  Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.

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  (737): Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner. http://tfl.nu/o0od
  Replies (5) Good night (1352) Bad night (596)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...

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  (224): Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex... http://tfl.nu/9y7e
  Replies (6) Good night (635) Bad night (926)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...

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  (717): And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill... http://tfl.nu/3r4q
  Replies (5) Good night (766) Bad night (248)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4

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  (706): I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4 http://tfl.nu/1te5
  Replies (7) Good night (247) Bad night (508)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)

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  (305): Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables) http://tfl.nu/t7ni
  Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (200)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT

  (310): View more from California

  NO SHAME NOVEMBER

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  (224): HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT (310): NO SHAME NOVEMBER http://tfl.nu/0t5x
  Replies (3) Good night (493) Bad night (196)

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