Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.

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  (810): I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans. http://tfl.nu/8mn2
  Replies (13) Good night (4628) Bad night (736)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"

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  (774): all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you" http://tfl.nu/p8m9
  Replies (19) Good night (2153) Bad night (5827)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.

  (571): View more from Virginia

  define virginity.

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  (651): Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying. (571): define virginity. http://tfl.nu/5by8
  Replies (17) Good night (5759) Bad night (1551)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"

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  (714): You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo" http://tfl.nu/an5c
  Replies (9) Good night (1334) Bad night (4082)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome

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  (419): apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome http://tfl.nu/v148
  Replies (15) Good night (3916) Bad night (1665)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?

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  (954): Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs? http://tfl.nu/j7df
  Replies (6) Good night (2335) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!

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  (432): There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses! http://tfl.nu/cuv6
  Replies (9) Good night (2349) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?

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  (260): how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'? http://tfl.nu/cg25
  Replies (10) Good night (1546) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.

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  (310): This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to. http://tfl.nu/veao
  Replies (14) Good night (1028) Bad night (1432)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry my hands just texted you

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  (613): Sorry my hands just texted you http://tfl.nu/r5db
  Replies (4) Good night (1090) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"

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  (803): A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!" http://tfl.nu/76ag
  Replies (9) Good night (1191) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.

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  (319): If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine. http://tfl.nu/56iw
  Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"

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  (727): I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe" http://tfl.nu/2m07
  Replies (7) Good night (1508) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.

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  (709): Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him. http://tfl.nu/nwj5
  Replies (14) Good night (849) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?

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  (251): So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"? http://tfl.nu/3mzm
  Replies (5) Good night (474) Bad night (291)

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