Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...