What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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