Sponge bath it is.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
