I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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