the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
