You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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