i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
