how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
a search helicopter?!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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