You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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