508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
