He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
