there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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