you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm always down for nudity.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
