she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
