I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I understand Curling. That high.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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