Non-Jews are for practice
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
