So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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