you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
