I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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