I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
