I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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