Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
