My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
