you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Go christen that room with your naked body.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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