love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
