No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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