I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
