There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
