Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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