dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize