I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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