I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
