If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he was CRYING into my vagina
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
