the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
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I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
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Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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