Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
