I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
