Pants 0. Shit 1.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
