I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I take back everything I said about communal showers
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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