He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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