Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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