Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
