i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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