You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize