the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
