Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
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Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
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She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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