Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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